The Ho'oponopono Prayer

Forgiveness and reconciliation are timeless human needs. In Hawaiian tradition, one of the most beautiful practices for this is called Ho'oponopono.

Ho'oponopono is often translated as “to make right” or “to correct an error.” This practice is used to restore harmony—with yourself, with others, with ancestors, and with the divine. At its heart is a simple but powerful prayer of four phrases:

I am sorry

Please forgive me

Thank you

I love you

Repeated like a mantra, these words invite healing—whether spoken inwardly to yourself, or outwardly to others, situations, or memories. In the Hawaiian tradition, they assume shared responsibility and interconnectedness: by healing yourself, you help heal your family, your community, and even the world. (Summarized from Ho’oponopono: Lessons from Hawaiian Meditation, Wall & Callister, University of Hawaii)

The power of these phrases has inspired others to create similar practices. In 2004, Dr. Ira Byock offered a beautiful adaptation in his book The Four Things That Matter Most—now widely used in hospice and palliative care circles. His version centers on four essential messages:

Please forgive me

I forgive you

Thank you

I love you

These are offered as openings, to be spoken or written to another person, with room to elaborate from the heart. For example: “Please forgive me for the hurt I caused when I didn’t recognize your efforts with…”

I’ve found these four statements deeply healing—both as a journaling prompt and conversation starter. It’s amazing what floods into our hearts when we make space for these phrases in our life. And this is work we don’t have to wait to do! Sharing these words now, with the people we love, lets us live more freely and feel more connected. My own mortality has taught me this gift.

Both the Ho’oponopono prayer and Dr. Byock’s conversational adaptation are beautiful ways to heal ones’ heart, and fill it with joyful freedom.